Monday, August 29, 2011

the good, the bad, and the ugly

august has been a rather interesting month. a month of new life and death, of trials and successes. usually august is somewhat of a sleepy month - it's hot out, it's fairly quiet, and pretty much uneventful (except for last year when amy had gav and then they moved to oregon).

but this year is different...we have had seven people that we know either die or have someone close to them pass away - some unexpectedly, some not.

we have had a sweet granddaughter born into our family; and her parent's best friends had a daughter two days before! and there have been other births as well that we know of.

it is just an odd mix.

along with that rach ran her marathon - a gigantic accomplishment. craig and angie moved, had darci, and he began school again. sam applied for a job with a gaming company (here's to hoping!) and rylee began kindergarten. for amy's family - gav turned one, brad started a new job that will hopefully give him an opportunity for work when he finishes school.

and then this last weekend, pat suffered from his kidney stone, rachel's car is in the shop (ac problems, not good at this time of year), etc., etc. on top of all of that i decided to feel insecure in many aspects of my life. do we ever, ever feel totally happy with who we are? if you do i am really sincerely happy for you, because i am tired of this feeling.

it sounds like i am wallowing, but i'm not...this post has a point.

the point is that i don't believe in wallowing. i believe it is wasted energy. i believe that we are blessed at all times in our lives, we just have to take the time to look around and recognize those blessings. i mean, really, i am grateful for my blessings, and not in a 'look at me, i am better than you' sort of way, but in a sincere, meaningful way.

i have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. i know that God, our Father knows us and loves us and wants to guide us and direct us. i know that my Savior, Jesus Christ, lives, and that He did all that He did because He wanted to glorify the Father, and because He loves us, His brothers and sisters. i know that families can be together forever. i know that my family likes and loves me - even when i am undeserving. i know that no matter what may come in the future for our family my husband and i are there for one another, like we have been since we met.

so what if my health isn't the best? so what if we aren't going to have a lot when we retire? so what if we are upside down on our house? and so what if i feel inadequate in my calling, and sometimes in life?

the point is that we keep trying; and that we look for those things that matter - because those are the things we take with us at the end of this life anyway. we are blessed, and that is all there is to it. and i am beyond grateful for those blessings.

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